Distortion of Fly Fishing

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by GAT, Nov 8, 2013.

  1. O.B.,

    Since you don't know, you must not be of good character or breeding. But then, with your preocupation with Duvall, that's easily understood. A good Harris tweed in either herringbone or houndstooth weave is perfectly acceptable fishing attire. Waders, back in the days of Hodgeman and Marathon, were considered a sign of poor breeding. Now that high end breathable waders cost cost nearly a fortnight's pay, they have become acceptable on certain stretches of the freestone streams, but never, NEVER, on a spring creek or stream. Should you land a day on the Test (not likely, as even God can't get a day on the Test), don't let your upstream, drag free, dry fly drift downstream of your stand and begin to swing and drag, else your Ghillie will use that shepard's crook you were wondering why he carried, to grab you by the neck and jerk you off the water. You would forfeit any remaining time with no refund.

    Fly fishing is serious shit in England, which is why we can deduce that the makers of the TV show made numerous errors.


    'Tis odd, I agree. But among the high brow Brits, fly fishing along the manicured banks of private water, with a Ghillie to carry all your gear and tend to your every need, and a resting shed at every other pool along the beat, with its wood stove or fireplace and good stores of Scotch, ice, and good glasses, it is considered "high" sport, if not X-stream sport. This is about the most extreme thing some of these gents ever do, other than shooting at driven game and birds. It's a tough life to endure such comfort.


    If you have to ask, you don't need to know.

    wadin' boot, astrofisher, dfl and 3 others like this.
  2. Yeah...you're right. My ancestors got run out of every decent country in Europe....probably for poaching, or shagging the Ghillie's wife.
  3. This thread has been totally redeemed! It could even get good!
  4. My wife loves British TV series as well, but I don't believe she (we) have seen this one -- will have to check it out. A few we've watched have included a short segment of fly fishing, so it would stand to reason that the sport still has roots with the current generation...either that or the young producers are compelled to insert these scenes because they are in the old literature from which their story is based.

    The few fishing scenes I have seen in the series are pretty awful in that the casting is horrid and in one, I swore I saw the divers snorkel who was pulling on the line :D. I suppose hiring a casting instructor in attempt to help the actor look somewhat capable of the act is beyond the budget.
  5. Wait until SyFy channel debuts one of their cheesy original movies ....TroutZilla or PerchaConda perhaps. Then you're gonna see some 'artistic license' taken!
    Freestone likes this.
  6. Well, as a young man, no body complained about my breeding. At least the ladies in the dorm...... Well, I digress.

    But you are correct. I doubt that I will ever be allowed to fish in Britain, but each trip to a river is a TEST for me. I have impeccable credentials for fishing, they just do not meet the Sterling Standard.
    As far as poaching goes, I have mastered the practice. I secretly use barbed hooks and weighted flies on protected waters. Mostly late at night with or without lights. Nets play an important part of my fishing gear.

    This stated, there still is no reason that I should not dress appropriately for the fishing grounds that I occupy at the time.
    When I visit Duvall, I feel that a french attire is more in keeping with the culture, it being the Paris of the West.

    In England, I just am not certain how I should attire myself.
    Your instructions above are of great assistance. Thank you.
    Krusty likes this.
  7. The Dress Code
    Gene Trump

    I need to speak with you folks about the way you dress. No, not at work or on the streets; mind you, everyone looks fine on the streets, I'm talking about the way you dress when fishing.

    Let's get one thing straight: Fly-fishing is supposed to be a class sport. Always has been. Always will be. But some of you people are not dressing the part in the least. Where do you get that stuff you wear? War surplus? Garage sales? The annual liquidation sale at Tacky-R-Us? Really, people. People, people -- shabby, very shabby, it's almost as if you've never received a catalog from L.L. Corn before. Get with it! There's an elitist image we have to uphold here!

    First off, baseball and fly-fishing are in no way related. If you are holding your fly rod in the same manner as you do a baseball bat, you're asking for an unacceptable percentage of wind-knots per swing -- er, cast. So let's not see any more baseball caps on the heads of fly anglers. Most of you don't even support the team of the cap you wear, or the tractor, so let's get into the habit of wearing a nice "class" hat, like a fedora. The type Boggie used to wear. Nix on the cowboy hats. Nix on the norwesters, souwesters or any hat with a compass point as part of it's name. Nix especially on those silly hats with the long bill in the front and the flap at the back -- unless you're left-handed.

    Hats that are marginally acceptable are English driving caps and Irish crusher hats -- but only if you plan to fish alone.

    If you have trouble determining which hat to use, enroll in Hatology 101. The class will teach you all you need to know about fishing hats.

    Shirts should be a good quality plaid in shades of brown. Wool in the winter and cotton in the summer. No reds, orange or screaming greens -- even if an outdoor writer does try to convince you to wear them because the colors show up nicely in photos. Do have a little respect for the fish.

    You should find the best vest you can afford. If you can't afford an expensive one, sell your stereo to cover the cost. Please, no cheap vests from House Of Plastic. If you don't feel guilty about spending so much on a vest, you didn't pay enough.

    The waders are critical. You must have Gortex. Nothing else will do. Least of all those incredibly tacky rubber affairs that seem to grow red bicycle tire tube patches on them like acne on a teenager. Do you realize what that looks like to someone thinking about becoming a flyfisher? Gad, I shudder to think. If you simply must wear such low-class waders, please, at least have the decency to throw them away when they start to leak.

    A wading shoe is another must. No tennis shoes or logging boots. A proper wading shoe is the only footwear acceptable. The more expensive, the better.

    However. If you do plan to fish in an area where the possibility of a confrontation with a grizzly bear exists, tennis shoes or other forms of running shoes are acceptable -- but they still look gauche and boring.

    The rod, the reel, the flies, the line; nothing is more important than the way you look on the stream. Always carry a full-length mirror whenever possible so you can check your appearance before stepping toward the stream. I highly recommend you include a high-priced pipe with your wardrobe. Male or Female, a pipe held tight at the side of your lips seems to enhance the classic image you wish to project. I don't care if you don't smoke, you don't really have to ever light the thing. Sheesh.

    Also, you must keep in mind that catching fish has little or nothing to do with all this. In fact, catching fish has a tendency to muss-up the demeanor so I don't really encourage you to do so.

    It just doesn't matter if you catch fish or not. As long as you look good, who cares?
    Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to pick up my tweed jacket from the cleaners and check to see if my L.L. Corn catalog has arrived. Of course I will have to pedal down on my bicycle because the bank just repossessed my car -- some foolishness about not making payments. But I know I'll always somehow come up with enough money to strut my stuff on the stream.

    Remember, it's better to look good than to catch fish.
  8. This article should be in every, I mean EVERY fly fishing publication in existence. Good show old chap.
  9. You do know it's satire :)
  10. What is satire?

    I am going to print this out and nail it to the door of the fly shop.

    GATs Manifesto!

    I can see a revolution in fly fishing. The rivers will be crowded with properly attired fishers and the gear guys will all want to go home for fear of being ridiculed.
  11. What's wrong with your tire?

    Don't tell me we have to have them lookin' good streamside too!!
    dfl likes this.
  12. OK, Here is the word, straight from the Ghillie.

    Mostly the Test is fished by casting upstream from a position on the bank. However on some beats wading is allowed. Although ‘match-the-hatch’ fly selection and delicate accurate casting are important the number one skills on chalkstreams are stealth and observation. In the crystal clear shallow water sight casting is the norm and the fisher would be advised to make all his movements very slow and considered. In an ideal world false casting is kept to an absolute minimum and all casting is done to individual sighted fish – either clearly seen in the water or seen to be rising regularly. Polarised sunglasses are a vital part of the chalkstream fly fishers equipment.
    Go Fly Fishing UK have considerable experience in offering guided days on the River Test as well as fly fishing tuition days for beginners and improvers. We have access to excellent beats in the upper, middle and lower reaches of the river. Most River Test beats are limited on any one day to just one or two fishers. Given the density of fish and the need to fish the water very slowly and carefully only a short beat is needed for a full day of successful fishing. In some cases our guides have guided over 100 days on some beats so they know these waters better than anybody else.
  13. I refuse to be led around the Test by someone with better breeding and sartorial taste. At my rather advanced age it is entirely too late to acquire any degree of class. I suppose a belch or fart is completely out of the picture on such water.
  14. I call bullshit on limiting false casting. The longer the fly is in the air, the drier it gets. The drier it gets, the better it floats. The better it floats, the better I feel, so feed fish dries for every meal!
  15. No need to false cast; the ghillie will hand dry your fly to perfection between each cast. And for what you'll be paying him he should be wiping your butt for you too.
  16. TP and a shovel is provided, but not applied. ;)
  17. Gene, after reading your exhaustive treatise: "The Dress Code," I suspect that you are related to the individual that my neighbor warned me about. He (my neighbor) was down in Portland on business, with his baitcaster along in case he had a chance to go fishing. As luck would have it, one of his business associates (call him Fred) was planning to head out fishing the next day with a visiting gent from England, who was a fly fisherman.
    My neighbor was driving, and as he and Fred neared the visiting fly fisher's hotel (they were going to pick him up at the curb), suddenly Fred ducked down below the dash and exclaimed, "There he is. Oh oh....Oh sh*t! Keep on driving! Pretend you don't see him!"
    My neighbor was quite amused to see a gent dressed up to the max in tweeds, some kind of English "driving cap," and some really fancy looking boots. A creel was hanging from his shoulder by a strap, and he was carrying a fly rod.
    He kept driving.
    Fred, now relieved, confessed, "The boys would never let me forget it if I brought that dude to the river. Thanks!"

    They went fishing, and wondered how long the Englishman would stand there waiting. (This was before cell phones).
    GAT and astrofisher like this.
  18. "So let's get into the habit of wearing a nice "class" hat, like a fedora."
    -That's me.

    "Shirts should be a good quality plaid in shades of brown. Wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.
    -Me, me, me.

    "You should find the best vest you can afford."
    -Me also.

    A proper wading shoe is the only footwear acceptable. The more expensive, the better.
    -This is a man, right?

    "Always carry a full-length mirror whenever possible so you can check your appearance before stepping toward the stream."
    -I have a great body, and sometimes I go months without looking - but ok.

    "I highly recommend you include a high-priced pipe with your wardrobe."
    -I am really close on this one.
  19. I think I got the bong....I mean pipe, part down ok.
    triploidjunkie likes this.

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