You can't make this stuff up. http://www.spokesman.com/blogs/outdoors/2013/jul/05/lesson-learned-dont-grab-raccoon/ In the Navy on Midway Island after a night of libations a fellow sailor wanted to emulate a pirate. He put a gooney bird on his shoulder as a make-do parrot. It didn't talk, it didn't want a cracker and the next morning the side of his face and shoulder were all scratched up by the bird. I think the lady in the raccoon video needs a .38 special with shotshells as that should quell the rising raccoon rebellion.