help me on a cold case

Discussion in 'Lost, Found, Stolen' started by wadin' boot, Feb 14, 2013.

  1. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

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    On or around the evening of August 20th, 2004 my goddamn garden gnome was stolen. I miss the poor little guy. He has some routines, including rum, and has need for medications. Without them he is lost, and prone to what social workers describe as "issues". All I have is the memories, and the photos, which are getting a little sepia toned. Even now as I write about Footy Gnome (that's his name) I am wiping a tears from my eyes and blubbering like a mudpot in yellowstone...

    FG is a rather distinctive fellow, short in stature, stood about 15 inches high, was made of solid concrete, and painted in the colors of the St Kilda Aussie Rules football team colors- red, white an black. He was an adventurous chap, as you can tell from the pictures, and knew a good fishing hole when he got there. He had a sailor's mouth. Anyway, street dumbassess stole my (and my kids) gnome. I would like him back. I gnow it is a long shot, but I just can't quit him and figured you guys might know more.... IMGP6475.JPG IMGP6476.JPG IMGP6477.JPG IMGP6478.JPG
     
  2. Alosa

    Alosa Active Member

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    These photos are far better than the police sketches I recall seeing...
     
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  3. riseform

    riseform Active Member

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    In this age of cyber warfare and drones, I believe an unofficial branch of government has been kidnapping, brainwashing and training gnomes for domestic and foreign sniper duty. SniperGnome.jpg
    Unconfirmed sightings were reported recently near Big Bear Lake, CA. For your own safety, you may want to halt your search. At this point, I suspect FG would no longer recognize you.
     
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  4. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

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    That's not FG. He's got more a kind of prehensile left hand, more like a paddle than that angry 'lil fella. That and FG doesn't have ears on account of all the Aussie Rules and rugby he used to play (part of the reason he needs meds right there, chronic ear pain)
     
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  5. Chris Scoones

    Chris Scoones Administrator Staff Member

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  6. Richard Torres

    Richard Torres Active Member

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    Wadin,
    Hired a P.I. to look for your long lost friend. After searching most of North America he headed to the Southern Hemisphere and came up with this photo of a rough looking chap somewhere South of Belize.

    [​IMG]

    Could it be him? Maybe he left home, searching for that secret ingredient that would heal his battered ears, too embarrassed to leave a note and an explanation of his endeavor?
     
  7. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

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    I think we are finally getting someplace! Thanks fellas, I am beginning to feel encouraged.

    Richard, that might be his brother Mingnome, see the "O" face? It's not FG though. FG didn't like to hike his shorts snug up against his tiny concrete package. I mean he had to on account of team policies and such, but not like Mingnome. That and Footy Gnome's left vestigial/prehensile hand is all crimped up in a flexion deformity. I mean he could (sorry... can) still catch and tackle and take a one-armed mark and stuff, it's just he has a little more pluck than the other gnomes and most of that pluck is right handed. Nevertheless, kudos Torres, Like Belizean Mingnome, he has a chip on his shoulder.

    Scoones, I seriously doubt that's him because he wears black white and red, proudly, and that picture is gray.
     
  8. Chris Scoones

    Chris Scoones Administrator Staff Member

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    He's part of the Wolfpack now.
    bankok1.jpg
     
  9. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

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    Jesees....lucky bastard...gets to hang with Alan and Stu...
     
  10. Richard Torres

    Richard Torres Active Member

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  11. wadin' boot

    wadin' boot Donny, you're out of your element...

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    Richard- how did you find this? Those are palm fronds so that FG is definitely south of here. The bland brickwork and sliding doors would probably put us down in California....or Melbourne, probably the latter because the bricks look sorta metric. Either way in a mid-70's early eighties ranch sorta house, someplace so sunny they got curtains outside. You got a St Kilda scarf and some salvaged turnstiles and presumably that photo's from a fan, a big time St Kilda fan, the kind of fan who might, say they loved the Seahawks, have some kingdome seats and framed ticket stubs down in the basement wet-bar....Now if these folks are rabid St Kilda fans, to the point of having a turnstile in their wet-bar, that would mean they also would have no trouble justifying buying their own gnome. No way would they steal another fan's gnome, it's a point of pride, after all you don't steal your neighbor's 12th man flag, if you're a fan of the 12th man flag too.... This must be FG's twin brother... The only way I can tell for sure is there's a small chip on FG's head, you can just make it out on photo 2, right at the peak of his beanie...I don't see it on this imposter. Goddamn need the Mentalist on this one....
     
  12. nomlasder

    nomlasder Active Member

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    I thout Leland knew better than to smugge invasive species. Rumor has it your Gnome is warm, safe and having the time of his life.
     

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  13. Richard Torres

    Richard Torres Active Member

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    After viewing that pdf i'd say if that's FG he's in a much warmer place than the rest of us, and like Wadin said, "lucky bastard".
     

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