Weird Things on the River

Discussion in 'Fly Fishing Forum' started by Coach Duff, Oct 2, 2006.

  1. Matt Burke

    Matt Burke Active Member

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    iagree with lex regarding the Griz
     
  2. Eirik O'Neal

    Eirik O'Neal Member

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    "Things have been too tense around site lately anyway. Bust out some good stuff and let's laugh a bit. Share your weirdest and wildest"


    Can't we all just get along?
     
  3. Matt Burke

    Matt Burke Active Member

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    Other than the usual naked people sunning themselves on the sky. I had an incident happen to me two years ago driving out to the OP. I posted it then and I'll reprint for kicks and giggles.

    Sunday night, I left work and caught the Ferry at 10:30. I really love driving out to the OP late at night when there is no other traffic. Hardly any cars all the way out to Lake Crescent. I love that section along the lake, when it's empty and dark. I was almost to the end, staying between 35 and 45, when I noticed headlights behind me and they were coming up on me fast. I can keep up with most of the locals on that road, but this guy had me dead to rights, so I pulled over at the next turnout. State Patrol went flying by me. I tried to keep up with him, but he was doing about five miles an hour faster than I like for that road. When we hit the straight away, he was gone like a rocket, see ya.

    Kept driving about 65 to 70 and I noticed two bright flashes in the sky. Oh great, lightning and it was starting to drizzle. Come up on the Old odometer check point, mile 1, and checked my odometer to keep track. Looked up and GEEZUZ, this Elk was laying on the other side of the road. Started to slow down and noticed a white blur on the right side of the road, in the dirt. It was the WSP car, upside down and pointing in the opposite direction of travel. Hit the brakes and backed up to his car. I'm just fixing to get out and this bloody, dirty patrolman comes up to my window. "Have you got a flash light?" he says. Hell yeah, but that is all, no dressings, gauze wrap or saline. No first aid kit, no flares, but I had a flash light. "Are you OK?" He says, "I think I might need some medical attention. "Well" I said, "I just happened to be a nurse, let me check you out." He had multiple lacerations to both his arms, several above his face and a couple on the back of his head. One rather deep cut at the occipital that was already started to swell. I did some neuro checks and his pupils were equal and reactive. He was standing and moving his arms so his muscular-skeletal was OK, which was a fricking miracle after I got a closer look at the car. "I think your going to be alright" I said. "Thanks, I'd shake your hand, but I'll get blood on ya." I said, "Don't worry, my hands have touched a lot worse than blood." We shook hands. "I'm Matt." "I'm Alan."

    About that time, a chip truck come barreling down the road, back toward Crescent Lake. I waved my flash light as the elk was still in the road. He didn't even slow down. He hit that elk mid torso with all the tires on the left side of his tractor-trailer and kept right on going. That elk lifted the cab of his truck three feet and he didn't even stop. Alan said, "We better get that elk off the road." We got over to it and it was still breathing. Alan unsnapped the holster of his belt and started to pull his weapon out. I thought, holy crap, first she gets hit with a patrol car, then a chip truck and now that dumb elk was really in for it. It was time for a little Washington State payback. Alan says, "Maybe I shouldn't expend a round." I told him her breathing was really autonomic anyway. Just muscular movement without any real inspiratory volume. He says, "I've been kicked pretty hard by these." "She is a long way from kicking anybody, lets do it" I said. We moved her off the road.

    Then another vehicle came up on us and stopped by where we had just moved the elk. It was a guy in a beat up truck that looked like it had taken out a few elk in its time. In typical local fashion, this fella says, "Man, that is a lot of steak laying there." We went over and started to check out the patrol car. After the elk had gone through the windshield, Alan had lost control of the vehicle and went off the road. His right front must have grabbed the dirt, spinning and flipping his car. The ass end of his beautiful patrol car, sheared off the power pole about ten feet off the ground, breaking it in two places. There were power lines laying all over his car. I couldn't believe he crawled out of it alive. A Callalum county sheriff finally pulled up and took the burden of being in charge off my shoulders. I did a couple more neuro checks every five to ten minutes until I knew that an aid car was more than halfway there. I knew Alan would be OK and said I needed to get on down the road to the Oxbow. Alan was very thankful. We exchanged phone numbers and he said we would stay in touch. He knew a lot of guides and was going to hook me up. We said good bye and off I went. A couple minutes later, the aid car from Forks went by and I was keeping an eye out for wildlife. I was doing about 65 and had just passed the bridge by Sapho when a deer ran out in front of me. Hit the brakes and just missed it. It just kind of aimlessly meandered off the road. I drove 45 all the way to the Oxbow after that.
     
  4. ncitrez

    ncitrez Too many hobbies.....

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    Matt, I remember when you originally posted that story. Good thing you were driving by.

    Have you talked to Alan since?
     
  5. sjterry

    sjterry Sr. Lurker

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    I once had a beaver rise and try to take my fly! Other than that, nothing to compare with the other stories. I also had a dear run into the back of my car. That was interesting. He addmitted liability and ran off.
     
  6. JS

    JS Active Member

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    Coach, I dont know how to say this, or how often you hear it, but hear goes...........I think your my new hero man!!!!!!!! Badass writing, and anything with visions of random dead celebs is allright with me.....good on ya brosef.
    cheers
    skeels
     
  7. Matt Burke

    Matt Burke Active Member

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    His wife sent me a thank you note after that. I haven't heard a word from them since. Obviously, people will say the darndest things when their in shock. I should have taken his little pea shooter and pumped that cow full of lead. I'll never forget what one of the locals said when he stopped by that night. "Sho iz a lotta meat layin' der."
     
  8. Stephen Rice

    Stephen Rice Senior Member

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    Yeah Matt that was a great story! thanks for the repost.
     
  9. Coach Duff

    Coach Duff Banned or Parked

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    Hellofa story Matt. Coach Speaking of river stuff, does that guy still live in that lean-to above the Wallace on the Sky? He used to live there in the summers with his pitbull.
     
  10. ak_powder_monkey

    ak_powder_monkey Proud to Be Alaskan

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    I once had a chum rise 8 feet to pick up an elk hair caddis my client was using for grayling, that was freaking weird
     
  11. tythetier

    tythetier Fish Slayer

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    Fishing On The 'shoug One Day...all Of A Sudden I Heard These Grunts That Sounded Like...maybe An Eighty Year Old Taking A Dooky. And Then The Trees Started Shaking And I Heard Snaps...more Taking A Dooky..more Snaps. I High Tailed It Out Of That Place And Have Not Been Back. I Google Earthed The Spot And There Was No Houses Or Roads Near That Area So I Dunno What It Was. Squatch????maybe...i Wont Believe In That Until I See It Though. I Do Believe That Day Will Come.
    Think About It...north America Is The Only Continent That Does Not Have A Known Primate (aside From Humans) Living On It.


    Ty
     
  12. Split Bamboo

    Split Bamboo Member

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    Elk?

    Squatch take Growlers, not Dooky's, it must have been an Elk.
     
  13. Rory McMahon

    Rory McMahon Active Member

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    I dont know wha the hell that is, could just be a bear standing up, kinda has a face like a bear.
     
  14. hikepat

    hikepat Patrick

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    :rofl:
     
  15. windtickler

    windtickler Member

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    I thought Gris's post was because the board has lately gone from "family-oriented" to much more adult in terms of language, pictures, and themes. That usually seems to the be (d)evolution of male-dominated boards.

    I'm not missing the irony that I applauded when the moderators all decaffienated a bit, but before sending it I do generally think if a post is going to kid or female friendly. (Otherwise, I offend freely ;-))

    Maybe we need an Adult Content (AC) acronym, like the NFR arcronym (although AC is arguably NFR). That way we don't have to argue over the 1st admendment, worry about getting over moderated, or offend people unecessarily.



    As an aside, how do you get a masters in microbiology or whatever without learning to write?